Off the Handle. On the Wall

Okay. Now, everyone stay calm...

There's a fly in my house.

And not just any fly. It's a rather pesky fly. And HUGE. And, believe it or not, it's NOT a horse fly. This appears to be a "common" housefly. (To be fair, however, I cannot catch the darn thing for proper identification.)

This fly swallowed the woman who swallowed the....etc. I swear by it.

Oh! Did I mention it's a rather large fly?

This fly is SO big it could scare an elephant. In fact, that infamous mouse that goes around scaring elephants (you know, Bunny Foofoo's cousin) could use this fly as a primary means of transport. THAT'S how sizable this fly is.

If it would be still long enough, I could get a photo as proof, but, well, it's busy doing what flies do (namely flying [and being a pest]).

After much rumination, I've concluded that this fly must be robotic, originating from MIT (or some other smart place). And, since it's hanging out at MY place, I figure it's also a flunky. A punky, flunky fly. Either it couldn't get a good job spying somewhere significant--where stuff actually happens, or it's a test fly. A testy, pesty fly.

Of course I can't dissect it to prove this to you, as I cannot catch it. Every time I try, it flies off (and I fly off the handle [I want this fly dead, but intact]).

I thought that, since it's apparently determined to stick around, I should give it a name. But I can't decide what to name him/her.

And, of course, as soon as I DO name it, s/he'll be gone.....

Ohhhh....I know!

It's name is Pat!