The Day Trip

Well, so much for that "friendship." Not that I'm bitter (that comes later [/enthalpy happens]), but...WOW!

Mancub and I just got back from P's place. We were supposed to leave about 11ish and were very delayed, as Mancub's dad didn't bring the cub by soon enough. The dad unit figured I might need a couple days to deal with grieving the loss of Bob and meanwhile forgot all about my day trip plans.

I called P and let her know we were late and, while she didn't sound "happy" (but, then she rarely ever does), she just said that we can do whatever when I can get there.

So, we arrive at 12:50, she answers the phone and informs me I may as well turn right around and go home, that she's fed up and tired and let's write this off--in fact, write off the whole thing--and the friendship.

Wow.

Now, I understand how she would be frustrated with me: my life is not as "tidy" as others. I have a kid that gets hospitalized, I have a back injury with a chronic, trauma-induced fibromyalgia(-like [depending on which specialist you ask]) condition that flares up at times (and even caused me to cancel the previous day trip), etc.

I called back to reiterate that I am grieving the loss of a family member, that I totally understand if she wants to write me off, and I'm sorry we were late, but that, meanwhile, there's a little boy here who's very upset and doesn't understand.

Her response (not verbatim): I don't wanna talk to you and ya know what (re: Mancub's hurt feelings and bewilderment)? I don't really CARE! ...and perhaps more stuff....then, /HangUp

Wow.

My son is autistic and honestly doesn't understand why he can't go in P's car for a ride to the mountains. He's done nothing wrong and has been talking about this for weeks. He actually likes her in his own way (regardless of her gruff, bossy, know-it-all [even when misinformed] manner) and adores her car (he's a bit obsessed with vehicles). And he was so excited when we arrived at her place. That, of course, was replaced with sobbing for over an hour, as he repeated, "I wuhnn YES P____'s car, goin' mountains drive wid P___. YES, Mommy, pweeze okay."

I may have fewer friends as a result of the difficulties of having a disabled kiddo and some medical issues, but perhaps she has fewer friends for very different reasons. So, although I'm hurt (esp. on behalf of my child), I suppose I should just feel sorry for her; here she is beyond "middle aged" and lacks the maturity, compassion and character to deal with any type of relationship maintenance. Not even a casual friendship.

But I keep asking myself what kind of person doesn't give a "crap" about a child's emotional pain? Yeah, write me off: I'm totally okay with that, but hurt a child who you KNOW is not able to reconcile or justify things...? Well, in my thinking that just makes you an evil-hearted person.

Good riddance.

In the long run, I suppose I should be mature about this and exercise sympathy toward her, for perhaps she never had the opportunity to love or learn to love. Seemingly, she has instead spent the majority of her life energy pushing people away.

Wow, what a trip!