"Scanner" Babble

News flash! I'm an artist at heart--an idea person. And, yes, to those readers that know me, that's a huge "duh!" News flash?!....pffft! /no

Very often I have more ideas flooding my mind than my brain can keep up with (even if I start writing/recording/typing immediately). I have a creative mind...and ADHD (among other "things"). Sometimes this combination is quite challenging to manage.

I was watching a Barbara Sher video on YouTube and got a brain flash: I LOVE planning and designing! Executing a plan/idea/work is fine and often enjoyable, as well. I just don't enjoy implementing (at least many components of such) or maintaining.

For example, I love designing buildings and floor layouts (even architectural components), gardens, curriculum plans, family time, vacation schedules, game rules, holiday menus, etc. (the list does go on...). BUT, well, ya know that part of the product plan where someone needs to jump in and DO something (say, go grocery shopping, market to another, balance the books, dig/prep dirt)? Yeah, that part...guess where you'll find me? I'm gone....it's like I fade into....I don't know where. (So, if you do happen to find me, kindly inform me of my whereabouts! ;-) )

I knew this all sounded familiar. In fact I even learned from Barbara to work on accepting this about myself--to give myself permission to just be who I was designed by nature to be: me. We don't expect a fish to thrive on running around in a pasture grazing (let alone to enjoy such), yet we do this to ourselves and others all the time. Anyway, for whatever reason, I had lost touch with this epiphany and was pleased to rediscover it today!

So, today I realized I have spent most of my life attempting to force myself to like/enjoy (even merely tolerate) things that are unnatural for me or that I just do NOT like/enjoy!

Why? Because I bought into the idea that those things were necessary (and some are, but others enjoy doing them and are thus better [even great] at them). Now, had I spent that time and energy doing things I enjoy and/or are passionate about, perhaps I would have produced/accomplished more.

Here's the deal: we tend to avoid what we dislike or struggle with. Many of us procrastinate these tasks/projects. For example, someone who is not natural with arithmetic or computers, might find they put off balancing their budget, doing bills, etc. more often than other things. If writing is hard and you need to send in a written account, written cancellation notice, or even send a card, it's possible that you may procrastinate to the point of....well, you get my point. Meanwhile, many of us feel guilty and these chores weigh us down.

And, meanwhile, we're beating ourselves up and not allowing ourselves to do other things we love until this prescribed job is accomplished. So, we're spending time not accomplishing the chores OR things we're more designed for. And we're not even ENJOYING that time. What a ripoff!

This is where networking and bartering can be very beneficial (esp. for those of us [like me] that are financially limited). Do my lawn, and I'll cook you a decent meal. Start and maintain my garden and I'll proofread your reports or cook you a meal every time you come over; clean my house and change my oil, and I'll organize your vacation time (and cook you a meal). I'll organize a menu, prep, and cook you a meal if you bring the ingredients. I'll design your garage organization if you help do the labor for mine (and I'll likely cook you dinner). Give me a massage and....I'll cook you a meal. Okay, yeah, I know, I'm a bit limited in repertoire here, but only because I worry that I'll choke in the implementation portion of a bigger project (e.g., compose a song for your upcoming anniversary), so lighten up!

Back to my personal dynamic here. I need to find a way to do what I love (e.g., art, classes, cooking, traveling, writing, etc.) and see if I can find others to take care of marketing what needs to be marketed, fixing what needs fixing, etc. Furthermore, said others need to enjoy doing those things! There are people who actually enjoy hard physical labor, and, hey, if there's home-brewed beer and a meal as a reward, they're genuinely excited (hard to imagine for some, I know)!

This is important. My very life and health depend on it, in fact. Well, you know, in as much as happiness and stress affect health and longevity. And that's why I'm doing all this processing. I'm hoping to discover a brilliant solution! If not, well, at least I processed and wrote, so that's productive! :-)

Now, I'm no mathematician (as you will see below), and I'm still working this out, but I think the equation for this dynamic in my life goes something like this:

Given the following representations:
C: compose (create), O: organize (plan, sort), R: orchestrate (implement: manage) H: rehearsal (implement: practice, prepare), N: conduct (implement: administrate, edit), E: concert (final product)

for the following values:
G: great fun, F: fun, S: sorta fun, and T: not fun, and where G > F , and F > S, and S > T, and T = ∅, the following is true:

C = G
O = G
R = S
H = T
N = S
E = F

Therefore,
C = O = G = my calling.
E = F = acceptable levels of brain juice still flow from interest in the activity, so I should go for it.
R = N = S = do if I must, but best avoided!
H = T = ∅ = don't even go there!

(Erhmm...okay...now, as is amply demonstrated here, this is where I start to flake out because this is taking energy in implementing....so I gave myself permission to stop, and will continue if my brain lights up with another thought on the matter.)

Thanks, Barbara Sher! You are a gem!

I need a new list!